who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
