explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
