i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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