I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
