I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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