Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?

(410): View more from Maryland

The recession has changed everything man.

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(+81): View more from

I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.

(+61): View more from Australia

You're never coming back, are you?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker

(914): View more from New York

Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.

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(208): View more from Idaho

We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

(734): View more from Michigan

Your friend and I already don't get along

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(585): View more from New York

His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.

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