i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
