I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
