is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I could fuck to npr.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
