please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
