Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize