how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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