Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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