She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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