I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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