woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
