i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
