Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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