wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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