Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
