your thong is hanging out like whoa
i already hear my dad disowning me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
