This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
