You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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