We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
