someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
