you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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