if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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