Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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