whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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