What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize