my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am mentally ready for anal.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
