I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
