some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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