Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
