with your own penis?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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