I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
porn star boner night. come get it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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