I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize