did you get engaged???
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
