her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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