I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize