seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize