i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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