with your own penis?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
