He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
