also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
