i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
