Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
