Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She announced her abortion via fbk
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
