Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
