i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
