You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
