Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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