You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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