I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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