I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize