I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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